Realisations are a funny thing.
I'm afraid of mine.
They make me feel selfish.
I suppose it's the thought that maybe I miss the one person who looked past all my flaws, for that reason exactly.
You never faulted me, you made me feel I could do no wrong.
And I didn't.
Until you went away.
It's almost as though I was trying to live up to your image of me.
To stay this innocent girl you loved and accepted. In your eyes I was always justified, I was adored.
Is it sick to miss having someone you could always be sure would never turn their back on you?
Someone who made you feel like perfection is possible.
Since you, no one has ever seen me like that. No one would ever believe you felt that.
No one will ever love me.
Because you didn't care about the other stuff. You cared about me.
I will never forget the look on your face when you came back.
The look of sheer, unimaginable disappointment.
Like you were completely crushed by the thought of what I'd become.
It was the same look you gave me when I broke your heart.